How We Got Here From There

The call came to my desk on Friday afternoon about 2:30 pm the week before Christmas. It was one of my sister-in-law’s saying that the State Highway Patrol was with her and asking for information on my other sister-in-law’s son. He had just been killed in an automobile accident. He was 29 years old.

I left work, felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach, and all the way during the 10 mile drive home, I was thinking…”must be a mistake”, “I’m sure when I get hold of others in the family, they’ll let me know, it isn’t true”. I kept thinking, when I got home, I’ve got to get hold of my husband so he can go to his sister and help when she finds out. She had already left for her afternoon shift for work, and didn’t know. When I did get home, my 17 year old was getting ready to go to the job he worked after school. It hit me then how to tell him and my other son. They were very close to this cousin. And he had recently lived with us for about a month just over a couple months before, and was like one of our own.

Everyone congregated at my mother-in-law’s house that Friday evening, and that is where they brought my sister-in-law after the patrol had located her and informed her of her son’s death. That night I took my kids home and told my husband he should stay at his mom’s with his sister and her family for as long as needed.

The next day, however, since my husband’s mom lived in a retirement home small apartment, she called and asked me if they could all come to our house. We told her, “sure, that will be fine”. During that week-end, friends from out of town and family showed up, and we had a house full. People were sleeping all over on air mattresses and no room to walk. This was during the week-end and the funeral was to be on Tuesday. Monday came, and I had to return to work since we were heading into the Christmas holiday, and the place I work observed shut down from Christmas through the New Year, I couldn’t take any time off. While I worked, my house was the central location where everything was arranged from, and it was the place where people would come after the funeral to eat.

We made it through the week-end and to the funeral on Tuesday. Since it was the holidays, and his mother and family didn’t want to go home, they stayed during the rest of the week and into Christmas.

On Christmas eve, there was a knock on the door, and one of my son’s friends showed up, and told my son that his mom and dad was splitting up, and could he spend the night. We said, “Sure, he was welcome”. After all, we still had a house full anyway and one more wouldn’t hurt. I recall that he slept in my hallway that night for lack of a place to sleep as our floor was still full of people finding a place to sleep. We made it through Christmas and through the following years.

19 Years Later

How we got from there to here is that, since my son has moved home because he is getting divorced, he has since run into this same friend. We haven’t seen this kid in 19 years, and my son has only seen him once, recently, since he moved back.

This week-end this same kid showed up at our door, carrying a bag, and when we answered the door, he wanted to know if it was okay if he stayed the night. Again, we said “sure, you’ve stayed here before”. He then went back outside to tell his ride it was okay to go on there way.

When he came back in, of course the conversation turned to “how've you been, what you been up to?”. He then proceeded to tell us that he has recently been in the hospital, and is still healing with a wound from where they operated on him and that he has MRSA (the super bug kind). I don’t think he saw our jaws drop, but we were dumb founded. He just acted like it was no big deal. My daughter knew what he was saying, and asked how contagious he was since she has a 3 year old that is living in our house. He played it off as no big deal, and right after that said to me, “oh, I shook your hand, and threw me a spray bottle and said, use this on your hands to disinfect”.  Now, I’m kind of a germ-a-fobe anyway, and I wash my hands constantly, and really don’t touch shopping carts, etc. anymore than I have to. We tried to be nonchalant, and then he and my son headed out to spend the evening.

After they left, my husband wanted me to check on the internet to see exactly what MRSA is, and we talked, and I said, I just don’t want to take chances of contracting this thing let alone the baby or our kids.

I felt really bad since we had known this kid when he was in high school and has had a rough life, but I called my son and said that when I pick you guys up, I’m taking him home. He can’t stay after all. Now, I have never told anyone that they weren’t welcome at our house, and I know how lonely and sad this child must feel because he said he has one of the worst cases of MRSA that isn’t reacting very well to the medicines and healing, and even though it said on the internet that if they have been on antibiotics for 24 hours, they shouldn’t be contagious. However, with an open wound, I just didn’t feel that safe. (and the doctor when I called him on Monday confirmed that fact)

If you had this situation, how would you have reacted? Was I totally wrong? Should we have let him stay and taken our chances of not getting infected? Let me know your thoughts as I feel so bad about him, but it sounds as if he has been on the wrong path that has led up to how his life has gone (without going into further details of his life).

You know the story that goes “Where were you God?” And the answer is, “I came to you three times and each time you turned me away”..well, this story keeps haunting me.

Finding a Home

It was getting cold outside, but she didn’t mind. She would find someplace warm to lay her head when night time came. Usually she just played all day, and didn’t worry about the weather. She loved running, and jumping and just enjoying the day and being alive. Sometimes she would find food to eat and other times people would give her food so she didn’t really go hungry a lot.

The best thing was when she got a warm fur coat for winter time. She loved it. It felt so warm and comfy on her body. Her fur coat was a very thick one so with that on, when winter came, she didn’t mind at all. She could still run and play and when thinking about that, she smiled inside. She would run and jump and try to catch the snow flakes before they hit the ground. What fun…and when the sun was shining, she could find a warm spot to maybe take a nap.

She lived on the streets, but she didn’t mind, and one day, she came to a neighborhood that had a nice house and she found a nice place to lie down and take a nap. When she woke up and started to play there, she was amazed because the people didn’t run her off. The one nice man said, “Hey, hi there, what’s your name and what are you doing just running around the neighborhood?”  She liked it here and thought she would stay a while.

She did stay and the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months and the months into years. My name is “Snuggles” and the one lady called me Snuggie. The house that I came to that day kept me for their pet cat.

I loved to lie down and roll on my back whenever they would arrive home from somewhere and they would have to get out of their car and tell me to quit break dancing in the drive way, then they would get back in their car and pull on in. They always laughed and called whatever I was doing break dancing, but I was just rolling around because I knew they were gonna pet and make over me. I was always so glad to see them and they were glad to see me.    

Hubby's Shirt (bag)

When cleaning out my husband's closet, there were some shirts that were worn so I took one of them and did a variation of the T-shirt bag. If you remember when they use to make purses out of blue jeans, I guess this is kind of like that. I didn't do the same as with the T-shirt bag because if I used the arm holes the straps wouldn't have been long enough. Even with using the material from the long sleeves, they weren't long enough so I cut 2 and tied them together at the top to make the strap long enough.

Just another way to recycle those old shirts for grocery shopping or any type of shopping. Could even use the pockets for change, coupons or anything.  

My Tribute

At work one day while reading the paper online that I worked for at the time, I saw a lady had posted on the newspapers blog. She was blogging about her mother-in-law and it was called Hiding Under A Bushel Or Not. I read her story, and she also had links to her website and her photography site www.inkhounds.com

After reading her story, I wrote down the links and visited when I got home from work that night. I perused the PNN sight and thought it seemed like a great site so I joined PNN in February, but was very apprehensive about adding anything at all since it seemed to be for writers. Then I decided, “what the heck and dove in anyway”. Well, I can say that when I hit the water virtually that right away I received welcomes and felt right at home, and since being here, I have not met anyone that I haven’t enjoyed and it is such a wonderful bunch of women (some men do hang around this global water cooler also and they are pretty awesome too).

Last week, I was invited to join another site by a friend so I did, but it is a site where you invite friends (you probably know the one). I joined, but I really don’t know that many people to invite to be a friend in real life let alone virtually so I tried to place a link on my PNN page, but it didn’t work so I deleted it. But, before I deleted it, MoM saw my post which said visit me…so she visited me on PNN, and she knew what I was trying to do. Everyone here says you gotta love MotherofMany, and they are right because it seemed as if she waved her hand and said “hey all, let’s go visit Peabea at the other site and be her friend”.

Well, I was so thrilled to see all the invites and amazed because it was like a bunch of friends bursting in at the same time to say “surprise, we’re here”. It made my day…and I so had a smile, which is what PNN is all about. These amazing people on www.pnn.com do make you smile all the time. They are so talented and funny and just interesting to visit and enjoy their insights on a variety of subjects. In reading their posts, I feel that for a moment, I can take a break from my life, enter theirs and learn different views about writing and other topics, and in doing so I have adjusted my outlook on some things, and experienced other parts of the world through their eyes.  Thanks new virtual friends.

And if there are any new people here on PNN, from my experience, I can say that the longer you are here, the more you will come to love visiting here every day.

Need Some Fun?

If you're looking for fun, head on over to myboobiesplace to check out the comments on her ice coffee post (and get the recipe). There's singing, playing instruments and line dancing...and hey, you might just snag a virtual boobiesburger. She was kind of gloomy according to motherofmany so we stopped over to cheer her up and the fun began.

Free Books at the County Fair

Last week was the county fair where my grandson showed his goats. He has two, Rocky and Bucky. Last year he came in 1st place with them, but this year only 3rd with one and nothing with the other so he was disappointed. But it was a fun day for both the grandbabies (and me too).

While there, the local library was giving away free discarded books so I picked up a couple. One of them being Jewel by Bret Lott (one of Oprah's book club selections). It was a great read. Take in mind if you would decide to read, it is set in the 40's era so some of the language might be offensive by today's terms, but nonetheless, a nice book about a family and a mother's devoted love of her child and children.

Book Preview 

Flowers

 When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.

Author: Georgia O'Keeffe. Quoted in: New York Post 1946

Every flower is a soul blossoming in Nature.

Author: Gerard de Nerval

My Grandsons rushed in and with big smiles said "Here Grandma, these are for you." "We picked them!" It was one of the most beautiful gifts I had ever received and it made my heart sing. God provided the beauty and looking at these and [my grandsons] made ~my world~ so much lovlier for the moment and helped me to see the many Blessings.

~Trabonet~    (aka peabea)

My PNN Mug Has Been Violated

Over the week-end, I slept in later than my Mr. (who wishes he could be like me because he says I know everything).  At least that’s what he says, that I think I know everything J

Well anyway on with the rest of the story…when I walked out into the kitchen he was carrying the wonderful, blue PNN mug back to the kitchen and placing it on the counter.

He had been drinking his morning coffee from my PNN mug.

In his defense I will say, he has no clue what PNN is or where the wonderful new blue cup that found its way into our cupboard came from, but “hey”, if only he had read the really, really fine print in our marriage license, he would see that it says, always ask the wife before touching anything, even if you bought it, you think it belongs to you…all circumstances. So what if it takes 3 magnifying glasses to read it, it’s there because I had it put there!!

I didn’t say anything being the wonderful Mrs. that he married long, long ago, and besides, I wanted to go shopping over the week-end, and that’s in the license also, don’t make shopping waves.

Now, I ask you from the picture below, why would he choose my mug when he has these glorious mugs of his own, a picture of his semi on a mug, a mug from his fav Nascar driver?

Hey, maybe my mug wasn’t violated after all, maybe it was victorious. PNN mug, you rock!!

Does A Ringing Phone Have To Be Answered

Sadly, there was another story about a 2 year old drowning in the family pool because someone went in to answer the phone according to the news. With the online story, there is room for comments, and I am amazed at the cruel, attacking comments that people can make on a website when there is a story such as this. The blame that is immediately written by people who comment. How sad that our society is such that the first thing they can do is leave hurtful, mean comments and argue with the others who comment.

I know when I heard this on the news, my first thought was how sad, and also how awful the person who left this child alone is going to feel, and that they will have to live with their decisions for the rest of their lives. In this case, it was the grandfather.

If the people who make hateful comments only knew how this affects someone that has had this happen. There was a lady in our town that was outside with her 18 month old, and went in to answer a ringing phone and left the girl outside. Most likely thinking she would only be gone a second, but in that second her daughter drowned in a backyard small pond that they had…not even a large pond. The reason that I know how this affects someone is because of her. I don’t know her personally, but every year on the anniversary of her daughter’s birth date and date of her death, she writes to her and puts it in the memoriam section of the paper. The last one that she did while I was still working at the newspaper was for what would have been the child’s 8^th birthday, and when she came in to place the memory ad, I could tell this lady is a basket case walking. She could hardly keep it together to even place the ad, whereas the year before she wasn’t quite so bad, so it really seems as each year goes by, she is getting worse. I felt so bad for her. She has since had another child (a son who looks like he could be the twin of their little girl) but she is having such a hard time moving on. She has lost her house, and things are just downhill for her it seems.

So, the people who make hateful comments at the bottom of a news story…well, I just can’t even begin to fathom a way to explain their actions. Some of the ones I read are calling for the grandfather to be arrested right away, some are blaming the parents for letting their child be at the grandfather’s house. I don’t know the circumstance either, and I’m sure they will live with this forever and replay all the right things that could have been done to prevent this, and if there is blame to be placed then hopefully the police will do their job.

When I googled toddler drowns to read the story online that I had heard on the news, I was amazed at the number of toddler deaths all over the USA and even other countries from drowning in the backyard swimming pool. And, a lot of them were because of someone going in to pick up a ringing phone…..so that is why I say, does a ringing phone have to be answered?

TShirt Bag

Most of you have probably already seen this but when I recently bought a new sewing machine...this was on the CD that came with the machine and I think it is so cool in this age of trying to go green. We already have the material onhand in an old tshirt we no longer use so don't pitch them...recycle them into a cute bag for the groceries or just shopping anywhere. Can just carry along to always have onhand.

 Here's the link showing how to make this. http://www.marthastewart.com/article/good-thing-t-shirt-bag 

You Light Up My Life

One of my favorite singers is LeeAnn Rimes. When my daughter was 13, my mom was in the hospital dying.  She had had bowel surgery and lived for two weeks after.  She was 73. They said she had diverticulitis. 

My mom was both parents to me. My dad was worthless, she divorced him when I was about 4 and my sisters were 6 and 2.   After a visit to see us, on the way home he drove into a tree and killed himself although they always called it an accident, but I really think he did kill himself. During that visit he had spoken to my mom about coming back to him, and she refused, not sure if that was why. When I asked my mom years later, the story was that his mom made him stop the car and let her and his brother out because he was driving so fast and crazy, and his mom said he was carrying on about my mom.  They got a ride, and came upon the accident.  He was DOA.  I remember him, but not much because he never really hugged or acted like he cared so that is mostly what I remember. 

Anyway, (got off track there for a while), back to LeeAnn Rimes.  This song, I know is probably about a boyfriend, lover, husband, whatever, but to me it is very sentimental and I usually cry when I hear it, but I think she sings great and I love this song.  I had gotten a brand new car with a CD player and my daughter played this song constantly during those two weeks of trips to and from the hospital so I associate it with my Mom and how she lit up my life.  She was so gentle and sweet and considerate and loving of other people and never, ever prejudicial and taught us to respect other people no matter their habits, beliefs or color of skin.  And you would never get away with saying the word HATE. That was not in her vocabulary and was to never be in ours.

Anyway, enjoy You Light Up My Life…(dedicated to my Mom)

Almost Better Than A Cardboard Box

The next best thing I could have given him to a cardboard box. He said, "I Love It!!". He calls it his teebord and says don't bother him, he's busy. They were pitching old computers where I use to work so I took a keyboard and mouse for him, and he really likes it so if you have an old one laying around...maybe your little one would like it too.  Guess you could say he has his first MAC although I'm a PC, but his mom is a MAC.

(he's always known the the adult computers were off limits so even though he now has this, he still doesn't veture toward ours)

THE MONSTER IN MY BED

 I came home from the road (I drive semi)....and there sleeping in my bed was a stuffed animal. Left over from the night before when my little girl was sleeping with her mommy. My daughter and wife were gone to the babysitter and to work. I had to leave again so I wrote a note and left it on the table. The note read,

"What was that monster that was sleeping in my bed last night?". "When I came home, I was so scared". "When I get home the next time, there better hadn't be anymore monsters in my bed!".

"Going to Chicago, Love you from Daddy".

 Well, I called home later that week, and my daughter who was 5 answered the phone, she told me "Just wait until you get back and see the monster that will be in your bed this time". Then she laughed....and told me that Mommy had gotten her a dog for her 5th birthday. I told her "Oh, I hope I won't really be frightened again". And we laughed and then I talked to Mommy.

 When I arrived home that Friday night...sure enough, there was a monster in my bed.

 It was the new dog.....A Poodle that weighed one lb. It was the runt that no one wanted and she was given to us for free. She is a miniature not a toy, but she looks like a toy. She is now 10 years old and weighs 5 lbs. Her name is Kassy. She does all sorts of neat tricks and is the best friend to our family. The only thing monstrous about her is her love of treats....just say the "T" word and she runs in circles, stretches and does all sorts of gyrations to get a treat. Her favorite is "Snausages" and she only loves Beef type treats or food.

 She is definitely a spoiled Monster.

 Can you guess which monster on the bed is Kassy?

Where Am I Going?

“Hey, looks like it’s your turn today”. “Can’t be, they never pick me”.  “Whoa, hands all over me”. Not sure where or what is happening, but I’m being carried. Girl hands, man hands, not sure…but, I’m going. Every week, I watch as they come in, pick up and carry one of us out. I always thought, pick me…where they going, are they going to have fun?

“Hey, wait a minute there, It’s getting dark, what are you doing to me?” It’s black and I’m wrapped tightly in something; now more wrapping. I hear something, not sure what - maybe a door or something closing and a zipping sound. Whoops…I think I just flew. Oh no, now I’m dropping, down, down. Not too bad a landing. I’m in a pile of something. Oh, my stomach doesn’t feel too good. I’m up in the air again. “Where am I going?

Being thrown A-gain, landing in a pile of something. I hear an engine noise. All I heard was them say, “Put it on the truck for delivery”.  Whoops, being picked up again, and put down. I hear a doorbell, feet and then I’m picked up again.

Now a tearing sound. Sounds loud….no they’re cutting and ripping open. “Hey, the dark wrapping is coming off. I’m starting to see light again, Wait, it’s so bright, can’t focus. Then Yeah, I see a woman. Now I remember hearing them say, “deliver this to Peabea”. Must be her. Whoa, she looks happy to see me. She looks me over, and says, “What a pretty mug and how nice that they sent this to me”.  “Yeah, I’m finally off the shelf and will be active. She says she drinks coffee, but will also be using me for Pepsi, hot chocolate, or anything drinkable since I’m so pretty.

I’ve finally arrived and will be useful…no more shelf sitting for me.

(go to simply peabea tab and click to open me)

Scary Movies

Middle son who is 37 wanted someone to go all night fishing with him Friday night, but no takers except me. Hubby didn’t get home from the road until the wee hours of Friday morning so he said no, which usually he is gung ho for fishing, but too tired. For years now we have fished, but it is off the boat. However, with the boat being at the lake, and we didn’t go to the lake this week-end, it was bank fishing.

So here I am bank fishing for the first time in forever and getting to enjoy some time with son #2, but….in looking around the bank at all the trees, water, night sounds, what was playing in my head – all the scary movies I have seen.

For years, it was the Friday night routine to settle in when the kids were home and teenagers and watch a scary movie. Every Friday night was Nite Owl Theatre. Except back then, the scary movies were pretty mild. Nowadays though, they really do scare the bejeebies out of me because they are too close to reality in the news headlines. For example, if you’ve seen The Strangers (Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman) or Vacancy, the one where they are stranded and check into the only hotel they find (Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale). These are scary movies where people are harmed just because someone wants to do that…for sport. So every time a car load of people drove down to see if a fishing spot was free, I was seeing a thriller in Technicolor and wondering if these were fishermen or just mean people.

Anyway, the movies played in my head (although son doesn’t know that, but I could tell him and he would laugh), while I loaded the worm on the hook and proceeded to fish. We got there about 11:00 pm. By 2:00 am, I had only caught 1 fish (very small one) so with the dew settling in, and getting tired and only one bite, into my car I went to get a few hours sleep. Diehard son just kept fishing though.

At 3:00 am woke up with leg killing me, haven’t slept in a car for years if ever, and it isn’t comfortable even though my seat does lay back quite a ways; was also getting chilly, so heater on and back to sleep after the car warmed some. At 5:30 am, back up and figured I would check out early morning fishing to see if it was any better. (It wasn’t). While I slept, son had caught a few fish, but nothing great. I left to head home at 7:30 am, and son stayed until 10:30 am (told you, die hard fisherman).

Next time though if it’s not boat fishing, and hubby or the others don’t want to go along, when the firewood, fishing gear, etc is loaded in the car…it may just not include me.  Although it was nice to spend some time with my son and chat and laugh like when he was a kid growing up.

Fish total:          Me one

                        Son 3 and a turtle (said he got a picture of the turtle)  

Do you fish? How do you spend time with your children, grown or still home? I still find mine amazing and enjoy every minute that I get to spend with them because once they leave the nest, you’re just not as in tune with their every day adventures or life. I miss that, but as they say in The Lion King, the circle of life goes on.

What are the scariest movies you’ve watched lately? Do you even like scary movies?