My Impatience Hurt Him

A few weeks ago my exasperation turned into anger and I still don't know why other than with the economy or just having a bad day and needed someone to blame, and so the nearest target was my hubby.

Now, I can tell you my hubby is one of the gentlest, dearest people I know. Oh yeah, don't get me wrong, we have had plenty of ups and downs with each other especially in the young years when we had the push and shove of a new marriage and setting boundaries. But we have always said that was history, and never to talk about those hurts again. And, I can say that he has never did things to intentionally hurt or embarrass me so I'm not sure why I acted the way that I did.

When he leaves for a trip, he parks his pickup at the location where he parks his semi. And, needing to use it, I had borrowed it, but didn't take it back for when he returned. When he got in that Thursday, he called to say, "hey, I'm over here and need a ride". I said, "Okay, on my way". Well, my husband likes to gab with the trucker friends when he first gets in, and I should have remembered that and just waited a while to go get him. When I pulled in, I didn't see him nor did he walk out and acknowledge that he saw me, but I sat there and waited. Now mind you, I probably only waited 5 - 10 minutes, but for some reason it really steamed me because I thought, You called, Where Are You? So, I drove off and left him there. I went home, told the daughter follow me and we'll just leave the truck and he can come home whenever, but by then I was further steamed and when I delivered the truck, I wasn't too friendly. He drove off and he never speeds away so then I knew I had really made him upset. He didn't speak to me for a week, and that's just not like him at all. It just takes a lot to make him mad.

I apologized because I thought, how I must have embarrassed him in front of his friends and I actually made myself look like a fool. Thinking about Authenticity, I thought how I could have handled that situation in such a different way.

That is the reason that I told the kids that I think after 46 years, I'm finally on dad's last nerve as he has always put up with my impatience, and just let it slide. This time though, I went too far and hurt another's feelings that I take for granted and shouldn't.

The bad thing, was that I when I did check my cell phone the next time, he had called it after I drove off to say, "hey, when you get this message, come back and get me, and by the way, I Love You". Now that really made me feel bad, but I deserved it. We are fine though and worked it through like we always do.

Not sure this has to do with authenticity or why I'm sharing it...just not sure. Maybe just a reminder to count to 100 before losing our cool and hurting other people's feelings?